The 12 Best Ways to Get Rid of Toxic Thinking
The information provided is from my own experience and may not work for everyone. I am not a professional nor claim to be. Please read my disclaimer for more information.
Okay! So, you have negative thoughts… constantly.
How do you stop them??
No matter who you are and where you are, this is something that all people go through, some harder than others. It can be even harder to get out of the habit of constantly thinking bad…
About yourself…
About others…
About life…
I mean, the list could go on, but you didn’t come here to talk about shit you already know!
One thing that I find interesting is those people that do not really understand the mind and the constant nagging negative thoughts that may attack at any time, are the first to tell you that you can change it - just think positive - they say!
It is just not that easy for everyone! And I get it. You have to work at it. It can be testing at times, and you want to give into the angry, gloomy, pessimistic side…
BUT! Let’s just give these a try, why don’t we!
Okay, so some of these you might say, “tried that, didn’t work,” but I want to take this from the top and maybe you will find some in here that you might NOT have tried and guess what? IT MIGHT JUST WORK FOR YOU!
OR… you might just try some of these again!
Either way, I am here to say, if you are in a dark place or if you have trouble getting rid of toxic thinking, let’s see if we can start over right here and now and give it your best shot.
Time is one thing we don’t get back so we may as well do it!
Meditation, Yoga, or exercise
If you are like me at all, I am not one of those that like to go to the gym to work out in front of everyone; however, for me to get into the routine of actually working out, I knew I had to get started somewhere.
Give the gym a try for a couple weeks and if you like it, GREAT! If not, start working at home but at least you have this routine, your body feels good (or sore - either way, good), and your mind is in the right place - so start working out at home.
Yoga and meditation are 2 that have been around for century’s and show to have a huge impact on not just your body, but your mind as well…
Breathe in, breathe out…
Do it! Close your eyes and take a deep breath and slowly let it out… You already feel better, right?
Maybe not but adding meditation and/or Yoga to your daily routine can help clear your mind and shake off that anxiety you may feel in your body. This in turn helps with your thinking.
Take some video courses on the correct process of mediation and yoga because there is a system to it. If done correctly, they can release toxins from your body giving you this feeling of pure relaxation!
Doesn’t that sound amazing??
Go for it! Make it your thing!
Understanding failure
This is a big one. Failure over and over can cause the majority of toxic thinking… and that is understandable!
It hurts all over when you fail or feel like a failure. We all go through this. But the hard part is getting past it. How are we supposed to respond when we feel like a failure?
Well, that is just it. It is all about how you respond that helps you get past it… maybe not over it but getting you past it is critical. Check out my post on How to bounce back from failure!
It is not always so easy to do but one thing I discuss in that blog is understanding that failure is the way to success.
I know. That sounds silly. But it is true. Failure shows you many things that many people don’t think about, one being that it is on the course to success. However, pushing yourself to keep going after is also critical. This is when you can bring meditation in, you can walk away for a bit and come back later, or maybe you do a little research on whatever it is you are working on.
But having a set routine in place for times when you don’t see your desired results is something that may just get you back on track every time!
Understanding failure is something that not everyone can do so if you master this and take another look at what failure can actually do for you rather than to you, you are one of few that have many great things ahead!
Writing your thoughts & Goals
I’m sure you heard a million times to write your goals down when you were a kid in grade school. But did you do it? Did anyone ever do it?
Guess what?
Very few ever did! In fact, there was a study done where they took a look at a group of 20 people that were destined for success based on their GPA and grades, and they determined that out of that group of 20, only 3 people wrote down their goals.
Out of that group, only 3 people became doctors, pilots, and one that owns their own business. I bet you can guess which 3… The other 17 did not get further than a bachelor’s degree in which they were not working in the field they went to school for, or they did not finish school at all and were working in fields they really did not want to be in.
My point! Writing your goals can help you get where you want to be in a different way - as you write it down, your brain is reading it, giving you a push to actually do it. When you are feeling down and negative, take time to write down your goals - it might give you another lift - and you might just start over again!
Writing your thoughts down help in a way that is a bit different, but the end game is to get those thoughts out of your head and be done with it. So, in this case, when you start feeling like your brain is taking control, grab that pen and paper and start writing what pops up.
After, I want you to try one of these:
Write your thoughts then I want you to cross those out and replace them with a positive goal or thought about yourself.
Finish writing all your thoughts and then… rip out that paper and scrunch it up into a tiny ball. As tiny as you can and toss in the trash. Do it again if you have to.
I have tried both and have found that the first one helps me more but they both can do the trick!
The goal is to get these thoughts out of your head and either TRASH THEM or CHANGE THEM!
You might just find that you start thinking more positive or change your negative thought around because your tired of wasting paper!
Visualize yourself flourishing
Here is another one that might be hard for some, but I want you to try anyway! I have many friends and family that would constantly sell themselves short by telling everyone around them that, “Oh, there is no way I can do that” or “they were just the lucky ones, not me.”
And all this does is put this mindset into action. When you tell yourself and others that you can’t do it or there is no way that you could ever have that much money, then this is what will be set for you. You are making that path for yourself.
So, stop it!
Instead, visualize and speak about the possibilities you have! Yes, maybe you don’t get every one of them, but by doing this you are creating a new path. A positive path that will get you further than the one saying, “its just not in the cards for me.”
Visualize!
Your words, even if you are playing around or feel like you don’t actually mean it, really do make a difference! Set your bar higher than this.
Visualize the things you want, the things you want for your family, or the vacations that you want to take in 6 months. And continue to do this every day. Say it out loud and start planning around this. Whether you get to it in 6 months or 2 years, consistently imagine yourself there and flourishing.
No, it’s not always going to be butterflies and lollipops, but it does make a hell of a difference than always thinking about doom every which way you turn.
Get enough rest
Another big one here! I say this because I am a night owl, and this is even hard for me! I love staying up for 2 reasons - peace and quiet!
However, it is important that you get enough sleep. Here’s the thing, adults need at least 8 hours of sleep while children and teens need about 10 hours. And here is why.
When you are sleep deprived you have a shortened attention span, poorer judgement, unclear decision-making skills, reduced concentration…
You see where I am going here?
But wait, there is more!
You have poorer memory, reduced work efficiency, make more mistakes or errors, increase in anger, loss of motivation, moodiness, stress, anxiety…
The list goes on and on and well, you get it. For all you risk takers that have about 5 hours of sleep behind them, what I am trying to get at is, negative and toxic thinking will seep in and take control with sleep deprivation.
A lot of times, people don’t even realize that they are sleep deprived because maybe they are used to this nightly routine - reading, watching movies or shows, working out - and it is normal for them.
That doesn’t mean that they are not in need of a few more hours of sleep! These few hours missing might be the missing piece to having a great day, getting a job done, or even staying on task.
All this effects your body and mind so try to get your 8 hours!!
Avoid triggers
Avoiding triggers comes with the possibility of giving up something you enjoy or even being around certain people. Triggers can be anything from smoking, drinking, and negative people, to driving in a car, feeling judged, or embarrassed. I mean, everyone is different, and everyone has different triggers.
Let’s break down what triggers actually are.
Triggers are external situations, events, or circumstances that can produce emotional or uncomfortable symptoms including psychiatric reactions such as anxiety, negative self-talk or behavior, panic, depression, or discouragement.
Learning how to avoid triggers that may cause the above symptoms might prove to help you keep those toxic thoughts at a distance or maybe gone.
Can you think of any triggers at the top of your head that you could possibly do without?
For me, it was the feeling of being judged by a certain group of people. Every time I had to be around them, I got anxiety, I stumbled over my words, I would turn red, and then it just ruined my whole day. I knew that I needed to distance myself from them somehow and I did, but I lost friends in the process. But I feel better about myself for it.
It may be completely different for you but take a look around and think about it the next time you start to feel a certain way, or a way you do not like to feel, and see what it is that made you feel that way. Try to avoid that. Cutting certain things out of your life can be a huge step in the right direction, you just have to be consistent and remind yourself that it is for the better.
Replace positive thoughts over negative
Now this is the one you probably don’t want to hear or talk about but there was no way I could keep this one out! So, I will be quick about it.
Negative thoughts are a powerful thing. It’s crazy to think that negativity has so much power, but it really can if you allow it. And here is why.
First of all, negative thoughts can hurt your ability to think clearly and process information making your day, and even your life, extremely difficult. The issue is that your brain associates the “fight or flight” response the same as a negative thought. Negative thoughts are stored in the amygdala which is also the brains “fight or flight” mechanism.
Now the thalamus plays a significant role in motor functions and sensory perception, in turn, signaling your body with information that cannot differentiate between what is and is not a negative thought; it just assumes that it needs to prepare the body for something and so your body may start experiencing symptoms of stress, rapid heartbeat, or elevated blood pressure. In other words, the feeling of a panic attack.
The same stress response is what you get with negative thoughts and ultimately affects your response the same way. Now, the way you react, studies have shown, may be due to your past experiences or past trauma. Our brain is good at remembering all the bad things you have experienced but it is bad at remembering all the good things you have experienced, making it hard sometimes to think positive in a negative situation.
Crazy, right?
However, it is important to also remember that positive thinking actually increases our serotonin levels and decreases cortisol. Serotonin is the hormone that makes all of us crazy people feel good!
Negative thinking on the other hand actually creates adrenalin and cortisol, which I am sure you can guess makes us feel… stressed, overwhelmed, & anxious.
Reminding yourself of these little things can help us decide to purposely put a positive thought over a negative one to the best of our ability, and believe me, each time it does gets easier!
Let go of perfection
Who else is OCD??
Well, so am I and just doing things once is apparently not in the cards for me. No, in fact, I have to go back through my work multiple times sometimes just to make sure that I caught everything, added everything, said everything… I mean, it can get pretty crazy.
I have to remind myself that not everything has to be perfect! Not everything has a place, not everything has to be done at the same time or finished before I leave every day. Because guess what… Someone or something will mess that up and having to go back and redo everything just isn’t what I wanted to do every single day!
Not everything has to be perfect. Let yourself make mistakes so you can learn from them. Give yourself room to breathe and let the dish towel drop into the sink and walk away. Don’t look back. Let it be someone else that picks it up for the 100th time and puts it back in the bucket that you bought specifically for that dish towel. It will be okay!
When it comes to your work or even in your play, you have to give yourself a break from being a perfectionist. Many times, it goes unnoticed anyway, right? So, let it go and let it be. You can still do a magnificent job and not all things need to be checked, rechecked, checked again.
You got this! (Now go pick up that dish towel one last time… you know no one else will.)
Acknowledge your needs
This is important here, so listen. You MUST acknowledge that you are a human with real needs, and those needs are just as necessary and important as everyone else’s.
Many times, we get so caught up in taking care of everyone else that we forget that we have to take care of ourselves so that we can continue to take care of someone else. It is important, and I would even say vital, that we set aside time and money for ourselves.
Yes, money. I want to get my nails done, hair done, and a full on 90-minute massage. Think about what you want to do with your little bit of change and go to town!
I mean it! If that doesn’t make you happy or feel good, then figure out what does and set aside time or whatever it is and do it. Big or small, whatever makes you feel better. When you take time for yourself, you create a sense of accomplishment as well.
You made time on the calendar, you set aside money specifically for this so it’s not taking away from groceries, and you are able to breathe because you are in your own little world - hopefully being pampered. That right there, for most, is a great achievement. For me it is - with 3 kids and a husband - I definitely consider the spa an achievement here!
So, I say again, acknowledge your needs and take care of yourself. You are important!
Stop self-sabotaging
When I was in management in the medical field, I had staff that I trained and watched every other month around all of our clinics and one the worst things I would see was someone making a mistake and then saying, “I’m so stupid.”
Or even worse was when I would be over at a friend’s house and everything that they tried on would produce a statement of, “I am so fat and ugly.”
Talking to yourself in this way is absolutely self-sabotage! Of course, there are many other ways of self-sabotaging like telling yourself how bad you are at something or that you don’t deserve one thing or another, but no matter what it is, one thing is consistent - you are putting yourself down and this ultimately affects you and how you do things.
If you could take the time to stop and really see what it does, you might actually want to stop doing it to yourself.
When you talk to yourself like this it can affect the people around you as well. Do you have children? If so, they may hear you speak to yourself like this and feel that this is normal. That it is okay to be spoken to in this way. You don’t want this for them. You want them to see what you see when you look at them and watch what they do - they are amazing and perfect. Well, that is the same for your children. They see you as their perfect adoring mom or dad and you can do no wrong - ha, just kidding… But they do see you as amazing, maybe even a hero or a role model, so by you saying these things about yourself, they might feel that this is something that everyone does and will start looking at their selves.
This goes for work, play, or really anything that you do in life. Putting yourself down every time you make a mistake or fail, will only increase your anger or deepen your despair, making it even harder to do anything at all. It takes away your energy, focus, and changes your mood for the worst.
What if instead you said, “Damn, I look good in these jeans” when you try on the new pants you ordered 2 months ago only to find that they are a smidge too small. You might feel a little better about yourself, while upset at the fact that you now have to return them to get the right size.
I mean, hey! It’s not your fault that their sizes run small! So don’t sabotage yourself - send them back and get your money back to get something better!
Don’t over think it
Overthinking is something that many people often do especially when it comes to work. I used to see it all day when I was training. It really does make everything so much harder than it has to be. Even the smallest thing became so much bigger. It’s exhausting!
But people tend to overthink everything they do - sports, hobbies, what they want to do, what they want to eat, and the list goes on. The only thing this does is exhaust your brain and maybe even your body depending on what it is.
Being clear and focused can be a challenge especially if you are tired or stressed so making sure you are getting enough sleep is vital. But when you are stressed, it might be best to wait on some decisions you have to make - if you can.
DONT OVERTHINK IT!
If you are just the type of person that has a hard time making decisions and when you do, you feel you have to change them because of something or another, you might want to try another way of making your decision.
One way might be writing down your options and marking the ones that make the least amount of sense off and go through this as quickly as you can. This leaves your brain less time to try and over think it. Yes, you might have made a mistake but then you will know for next time. Plus, seeing it on paper actually helps a lot of people make quicker decisions because their brain was allowed time to also process it as they wrote it down rather that focus on the many obstacles that “could possibly” stand in the way.
Another may be to get someone else’s take on whatever it is that you need to make a decision on. Obviously, if it is “where to eat,” you could be trying to figure this one out all night - this one gets everyone - so avoid that one.
But it can help to get another perspective, or even better, let them make the call and be done with it!
Get away from toxic people
Another important one here so listen up. Toxic or negative people can and will rub off on you if you let it!
Stay away is what I say. If you are in the presence of someone that is constantly negative, this tends to travel to others. It’s like a virus and if you’re not careful, you can catch it.
You know that feeling when you see someone that is always polite, always smiling, and always has something nice to say about you or someone else? Doesn’t it make you want to be that way too? Or at the least, your Mondays are a hell of a lot better than when you are around someone that constantly complaining about every single thing they have to do.
I know you know what I mean. There are two completely different energy’s when you are with a negative person versus a positive person. Now some people crave that negative energy, and even enjoy it, but not you and me. You and I want to be so damn positive that negative people hate to be around us!
Sometimes… that’s fun.
Either way, toxic people can create a cloud over an entire group, or a room and it can change your whole day. Avoiding them can even be hard because unfortunately they run around everywhere. However, it feels better to surround yourself with positivity than being pulled down to a level that is dark and hard to get out of.
Well, that about does it! What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? What do you want to achieve? I have given you 12 great ways to get rid of toxic thinking so that you can get up and get going! Toxic thinking ultimately holds you down and no matter what you are doing or where you are at in life, it does not make anything better. Ever.
Do your best to steer clear of it but also make it your goal to think the very best you can about yourself and others. I know that sometimes it can be hard, but life is much better that way. Make it part of your routine to talk better to yourself every morning and every night in the mirror. You deserve it and you will be happier in the end because of it.
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